At this point, my life is still a struggle financially.
My eldest graduated from college last March and is now a Nurse, but it will still take some time before she gets a good nursing job overseas.
My second child stopped school and will be working very soon at KFC.
My third child is in college, he's taking up Hotel and Restaurant Management at the Dela Salle University Dsamariñas, Cavite. That's the heavy one. High tuition fees and allowances and other expenses.
My youngest is in grade school (grade 4), she's in a public school so no heavy pressure on her side.
She maintains her good grades and is always in the top section.
We started from nothing with already three children, now we have our house (amortized monthly) which is our biggest accomplishment.
But we are over our head in debts because of the expenses incurred during the years.
We have also made several bad investments.
I am trying my best to look for other sources of income, getting connections for possible business deals... but nothing positive yet.
Sometimes problems gets me so down that I don't know why this is happening.
We try, but cannot see where we could get extra earnings to tide our daily expenses.
Now I read in my daughter's FB this message:
Kung hindi mo ikoconsider ang iba at sarili mo lang ang iisipin mo sa paggawa ng bawat desisyon sa buhay.. SASAYA KA. Pero ang laging tanong sa huli ay "PANO SILA??"
(If you will not consider others and think only of yourself in making every decision in your life, then you will be HAPPY. But the question remains, "HOW ABOUT THEM?")
My heart was crushed....
My friend asked me, "hindi ba nya alam na yan ang ginagawa mo para sa kanila?" (doesn't she know that that is what you are doing for them?)
Because right now she is helping with the expenses at home and maybe she feels she is tied to the responsibility and doesn't feel happy about it.
I will have to talk to her one of these days.... I just have to let the pain pass first.
Hay,, the heartaches of being a Mom...
But I miss my Mom so much.... a love so unconditional she gave me.
I hope one day I could do the things I am missing out in my life right now.
Watch movies at the movie theater...
Go on vacation out of town and even out of the country...
Eat out at fancy restaurants once in a while....
Wake up knowing that all the bills are paid and that it will never go overdue or cut-off again because I have the money to pay them all on time....
Well,,, dreams and hopes....
I will never stop trying to make our life better....
Because I have this dream,,,,